AMBIVALENCE(n):

- The state of having simultaneous, sometimes conflicting feelings towards something-like feeling happy and sad at the same time.

I am happy, really happy that semestral break is nearly there and just more few obstacles and I'll be flying back to Saudi Arabia, to be finally ceased from all of exertion and be refreshed in every way. Thou in prior to my anticipations are fear and sadness. Opposition of feelings is present and I just don't like how it feels. I may have typed this thing for a million of times already, but the pain doesn't even seem to waver. Having the awareness that we, BSN1-2, will be reshuffled next sem somehow decreases my overall happiness for the ending of the first sem. :'(

Chances aren't that high for us to be united in a one section again for the second sem. As of now, we only have 2 days left. I don't know what to feel anymore. Part of me is already all sore from yelling and complaining about all of the stress and pressure but the other half still wants to cling more to every second.

There's only one thing for sure. That I'll forever be truly, madly and crazily in love with my college first loves. <8