moving on from being stucked halfway..

College has been really great! All of my doubts and uncertainties has already been proven wrong to me; I didn't become a loony-loner, I (still, thank God!) didn't encounter anything linked to humiliation at the very first day and so far, I'm still able to endure those late-nights cramming thou will surely not without God, my family and friends as my inspirations. It's almost been a month and a half since I first stepped into the unknown, and now, I could already claim true that being anxious and highschool-sickness is normally part of the experience.

 I still yearn for the past, of course. I'm still wishing to just miraculously spot my high school friends in the crowd and be instantly united and have everything the way we've used to again. I'm still captivated by the dictatorship of nostalgia but recently, I've learned that somehow, I have to unfreeze myself from the past and instead, to focus more in the creation of my future, which is the present. For truth to be told, long before my realization, I can barely concentrate to my studies with all of these changes that's happening.

Whenever I can see our old pictures, my heart cant help but to cry out of desperation to turn those memories into moments again. I really feel jealous by every picture they have with somebody else, thinking how it is no longer 'us' in the photographs anymore. And now, as I talk about all these stuffs, I have to exert extra effort of holding back my tears. Perhaps, I really, really, really just miss our lives back there in Saudi Arabia with my family and friends.

But just like what I've said, college has been great and yes, I'm totally loving it! :) I was blocked with the coolest and loudest people and I cant imagine myself sitting elsewhere but at room 8409. I'm still at the state of adjustment and thou I find it a bit weird, I think I'm doing just fine.

Prelims were over, - pause there for a second! why don't you help me in praying to have high grades? - and now we're moving into midterm yet still with the remnant of the previous term needed to accomplish. I still have loads of things to do but as of now, after all the torture I got mentally, emotionally and physically from our exam, who doesn't deserve to a break even just for a while?

Writing is fun but with all the memories you want to write down and its corresponding exhaustion and time-consuming as its major characteristic, don't you just sometimes wish to gather and keep your memories into a flask and simply play it all in a pensieve whenever you wish to?